MawMaw's Song

This time of year always makes me miss my Grandma Gleadall. She went up to the Lord in October of 2001 after what seemed like the longest month of my life battling a cancer that was in her blood. When she was first diagnosed... they gave her a few months to live... but she ended up fighting for a good few years afterwards. I am so thankful she did b/c I have so many wonderful memories with Grandma. I still cry when I think about her because I miss her so much. I'll never forget standing with my brother and sisters at her funeral and EVERYONE kept coming up to hug us and telling us how much she loved us and was proud of us. If it would have been possible... I could have cried ever tear out of my body that day. It was very bittersweet, because I remember praying for Grandma to continue fighting when she first when to the hospital that September... but then towards the end... when she was on every machine possible... and seeing her for the very last time- I began to pray for God to relieve her of her pain and let her rest. I cried myself to sleep every night and prayed so much for her. Then when daddy came home and told my sisters and I that they took her off life support and she passed away- I was just emotionless. I couldn't believe that my sweet grandma was gone. I remember going to my room and praying and thanking God for letting her go peacefully. But I was still in shock. I never shed a tear until the day of the funeral when I saw her lifeless body. She looked so different and I cried the whole day.
Then out of the blue... my best friend that I hadn't seen in forever since I moved to Illinois shows up and gives me a big hug. I squeezed her so tight and was so glad she was there. To have my best friend and my family meant everything to me that day.

I am starting to cry writing this... <3 So here are a few pics of my sweet Grandma Joy... who rang true to her name.... I hope to be blessed with a daughter one day so I can name her after Grandma.... <3

Looking at family photos with Grandma (left) and Mamaw (right)

Playing games with Grandma... she used to make us laugh when we played "Sorry" b/c she was terrible and always lost! hehe

I remember helping Grandma make this!

We loved having tea parties with Grandma and making Grandpa be our "butler" heheh

One of my favorite songs that remind me of her is called "Mawmaw's Song" by Bart Millard...

Seven years old upon my knees
On the third row pew, trying to see
My grandmamma sing In the Sweet By and By
It wasn't the sweetest soundin' thing
But there's somethin' about when grandmamma sang
That moved your feet, stirred something up inside

To see her grin from ear to ear
One thing for sure was very clear
This wasn't just a song
It was her life

(Chorus:)
In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore
In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore

Now times have changed to say the least
My grandmamma's voice, a memory
Just like the old song said, she's on that shore
And she's looking down on me
I hope she's proud of what she sees
Cause thanks to her I'm walkin' with the Lord

Oh to hear her once again
Wrap herself around that hymn
Lord, If I could just go back once more

(Chorus)

There's a land that is fairer than day
By faith we can see it afar
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there

Oh I can hear her singing along

(Chorus)

Taking a u-turn...

So I have realized that I have been putting my health and my faith on the back-burner since I started teaching. I've become so obsessed with becoming a great teacher for my students, that I'm letting myself slip through the cracks. So I'm trying to figure out where to draw the line.

So instead of worrying about it... I'm going to start praying and writing more. I have pushed God to the side too many times and I need to let him take control... one song that I heard on the radio that really hit home was the new song by Mikeschair called "Someone Worth Dying For"... I downloaded it tonight on itunes and was listening to it as I was reading the lyrics and started tearing up because it is so beautifully written. My favorite is the chorus b/c it can hit home to alot of us at times. I'm sure we have all felt this way....


Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for 

After hearing a beautiful song like that... I don't know how you can't feel uplifted and comforted in the fact that God hears us and works through US to help one another.  Listen for yourself... I seriously LOVE this song!!! =) I hope this lifts you up today like it did for me tonight! <3 Jess


You might be the wife,
Waiting up at night
You might be the man,
Struggling to provide
Feeling like it's hopeless

Maybe you're the son,
Who chose a broken road
Maybe you're the girl,
Thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God can you hear me?
Oh God are you listening?

(Chorus)
Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for

I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep asking, what everybody's asking

Chorus

You're worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah the Cross has proven
That you're sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose

You are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see you're something beautiful
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see
That you're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you
Are someone worth dying for

You're someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for